Miriel, Pastor of Vows, miraculously claims victory by doing nothing at all

Elden Ring's Turtle Pope wins modded deathmatch through peaceful means

(Image credit: FromSoftware / BjornTheBear)

Elden Ring’s Turtle Pope has emerged victorious in a deathmatch without resorting to violence of any kind.

It turns out Miriel, Pastor of Vows, a. k. a Turtle Pope, is the mightiest of all of Elden Ring’s creatures, well, sort of. The holy reptile was recently part of a battle involving Elden Ring’s best animal field bosses and managed to come out on top, but not by landing the most powerful blows, but in typical Turtle Pope fashion, by doing nothing at all. 

To determine the toughest creature in all of Elden Ring, modder BjornTheBear pitted the creatures against each other until only one was left standing on the battlefield of Caelid. The video, spotted by Kotaku (opens in new tab), shows the fierce creatures knocking chunks out of each other while Miriel sticks to his peaceful ways and doesn’t lay a finger on anyone. Amazingly, as the NPC is just standing around, the other participants ignore him. He does take some damage during the battle, but only because he’s in the way, not because he’s being targeted. The first round ends with all but a mighty dragon being eliminated, who seemingly takes issue with attacking Turtle Pope, so the modder declares it a draw. 

Hilariously, the second round sees Miriel emerge victorious as the final two fighters knock each other out simultaneously. The camera pans in on the turtle, who appears to be having a snooze, utterly oblivious of the carnage that’s just taken place around him. Later rounds show the creatures duking it out while scaled to the same level and given the same amount of HP. Miriel doesn’t manage to win any of these, but coming out on top twice while not compromising on his morals makes him the overall winner in our eyes. 

If you’ve yet to pay a visit to Turtle Pope, you can find him hanging out in the Church of Vows, where he’ll offer to share his knowledge of Sorceries and Incantations with you. As one Elden Ring fan discovered, it’s possible to kill the lovable NPC, but you really shouldn’t. “I have to live with this on my soul now, don’t do this,” warned the guilt-ridden player. “There is nothing to gain, and you lose not only the convenience of him, but you lose a part of yourself too.”

If you’ve already conquered the Lands Between, find your next great virtual adventure with our pick of the best new games for 2022.

TECH NEWS RELATED

Romero Games and Retrovibe Join For An Awesome Collaboration

If pixelated shooter carnage is the kind of thing you go in for, then don’t look away because we have a collaboration that just might suck the money right out of your wallet! Romero Games and Retrovibe have joined forces to bring the newest PC Big Box centered around ...

View more: Romero Games and Retrovibe Join For An Awesome Collaboration

Gotham Knights trailer shows off Red Hood and his definitely non-lethal fighting style

Gotham Knights has steadily been showing us different members of the Bat family, with the latest trailer giving us a look at the rowdy Red Hood. Batman’s whole deal, typically anyway, is that he doesn’t kill anybody. That obviously has something to do with his own parents being killed, ...

View more: Gotham Knights trailer shows off Red Hood and his definitely non-lethal fighting style

Talking Point: How Were You Introduced To Metroid?

Lets get this morph ball rollin'

View more: Talking Point: How Were You Introduced To Metroid?

What are Earthphyte plants in Tower of Fantasy?

Screenshot by Gamepur There are a bunch of different types of flora in Tower of Fantasy for you to discover as you journey across the world. There are mushrooms that you can bounce on, herbs that secrete oil, and flowers that grow in different colors with buds that fall ...

View more: What are Earthphyte plants in Tower of Fantasy?

Horizon Chase celebrates seventh birthday with a brand new game mode and community-driven events

AQUIRIS’ mobile racing game Horizon Chase has announced its plans to celebrate its seventh anniversary. The game released in 2015 and reached over 80 million downloads since. Horizon Chase has stayed a popular racer in the mobile scene, and this anniversary event, which will include a brand new game ...

View more: Horizon Chase celebrates seventh birthday with a brand new game mode and community-driven events

Taking down PT from PSN store was "an awkard conversation" says the person who had to do it

Eight years after the Silent Hills demo first released, the person responsible for taking PT down from the PSN store discusses what happened. We all dearly wish we could have seen Hideo Kojima’s take on Silent Hill (and obviously so does he), but unfortunately we likely never will, outside ...

View more: Taking down PT from PSN store was "an awkard conversation" says the person who had to do it

SUNDAY GOLD Is Announced And Stylish As Ever

Team 17 and BKOM Studios have been cookin’ up something spicy! Sunday Gold is a newly announced dystopian adventure game set in 2070s London. With a premise like that, we really have no reason not to be at least a little interested in what comes next! Players will get ...

View more: SUNDAY GOLD Is Announced And Stylish As Ever

Avatar: The Last Airbender Nintendo Switch Listing Surfaces Online

The Newest Sci-fi Shoot Em Up Is In The 1950s

Diablo 4 survey hints at potential microtransactions

My Talking Tom+, a new and improved version of the legendary virtual pet sim, launches on Apple Arcade

How to solve Kerosenia plant puzzles in Tower of Fantasy

Microsoft makes bold claim that Sony pays "blocking rights" to stop games appearing on Game Pass

Wreckfest Mobile, a port of the popular vehicular destruction sim, is heading for iOS and Android

Sword Master Reacts to Chivalry 2’s Weapons

How Concentration Rays work in Tower of Fantasy

Where to get Black Moss in Tower of Fantasy

How to solve Chowchow plant puzzles in Tower of Fantasy

Poll: Box Art Brawl: Duel - The Legend Of Zelda: The Wind Waker

How to loot a Singularity Rock in Tower of Fantasy

OTHER TECH NEWS

Top Car News Car News