Parody: Whatever it is, we won't see it anytime soon - if ever

mobile phones

(Image credit: Apple)

Apple’s unannounced, unproven thing has been unofficially delayed to an unannounced later date, unnamed sources might have said Friday — and the cost of the new device is set to skyrocket, as well.

Apple has been secretly digging into the hot new technology for several years, according to anonymous leakers frequently cited in vague technology reports. A series of unvalidated and unverifiable stories support the idea that Apple is deeply invested in the new technology, which leverages buzzworthy unnamed tech jargon to build an entirely new class of gizmo — though what exactly it is remains utterly unclear.

But due to unforeseen manufacturing challenges, Apple won’t be able to hit an internal, unannounced shipping deadline – meaning fans of the uncertain technology will be forced to wait before buying it.

“Apple Inc. is considering pushing back the debut of its hot new device by at least a few months, potentially delaying its first major new product since the Apple Watch in 2015, according to people familiar with the situation,” the loosely supported report claims. “That could push the announcement until the end of 2022 or later, with the product hitting shelves by 2023, the people said,” the report further claimed.

Citing an unavailable analyst report, related reports reportedly reported that supply chain issues in China were impacting an unnamed supplier’s ability to ship parts, further leading to challenges bringing the new technology to market. The often-cited analyst behind the report believed the cost of the next-gen tech device would increase by at least 10% – and that increase wouldn’t impact sales of the device.

“We believe there is still an enormous market for this device,” the analyst reportedly said, predicting sales of 15 to 20 million units in the first year alone.

When pressed for comment, an Apple spokesman who refused to be named on the record neither confirmed nor denied the report. On background, the unnamed spokesman implied that Apple is always investigating new technologies, a vague fact he refused to substantiate and declined to elaborate on any further.

We will continue monitoring the situation and will update this story when new details emerge.

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